Celinasjourney

This is a blog, a journal, a diary, a live reevaluation as I go through many phases in my life. As someone who is striving to produce significant change in this world, I am documenting all the experiences within my mind that helped me get there, starting it all from the beginning, starting at 15 years old, (though I started this platform recently at 16.) Of course I won’t know if I actually produce the results I want, not until we get there. This will be very personal.

This is apart of a book that I was beginning to write. However, it seems it’ll take me a while. And I’m not as frequent in my writing since I have stopped to start working on my book. So I’ll bring the chapters to my blog and one day I’ll turn it into a full book.

I’m writing this so that you understand me. I’m sure you’ve wondered what goes through an esoteric person’s head. And so before I start making a name for myself in the world, I want to give you as much as I have at the moment.

We begin:

Maybe its because I have my eyes set on a vision. But I’m constantly stressing about my future. I’m very impatient and always wondering when my plans and goals will come to fruition. I feel as though I’ve been in the same place for more years then I’ve actually been. At times I’m mentally exhausted. And I cant stand to be told what to do. I always feel I need another break, and I know we had the almost 2 year long one with quarantine, but that saved me. If it hadn’t happened I would’ve been feeling 3 times worse then I was at the time of writing this and feeling 3 times worse, would mean beyond the feeling of depression.


I have plans, ideas and visions to enact. Sometimes I think on everything I need to be doing to achieve them and feel I have too much to deal with. However, I apply the pressure so that I stay true to my plans in order to achieve my goals. Sometimes I feel as those I’m at a constant roadblock. I’m stuck. At an impasse. Thoughts and feelings were pretty dangerous, so I had to find a way to leave school early. Luckily, I get to graduate 5 months earlier but I need to be free sooner. Everyday I’m feeling more and more stuck and maybe its for a good reason. Maybe its so that, by the time I’m free I become what the world has never seen before.


I was originally keeping it all confined to my journals.


I feel that my vitality is being tested. The Divines are increasing my mental toughness. I was dissociated with how I should’ve been feeling and how I was actually feeling. And I knew I was being conditioned.

Celinasjourney